Yellow Mustard Review - Alstertor Düsseldorf-Style Mustard

     It's been a while, it really has. 5 more days than a year, to be exact. But fear not, my mustardy allies, for although I have not been writing mustard reviews for more than 12 months, I have most certainly been delighting my taste buds with that succulent mix of mustard seed and vinegar that we all know and love. I promise to you all, this will be only the first in a new string of mustard reviews that will seek to improve upon the platform I built a year ago. And with that, I bring you the king of the mustards I have tried in 2015, a true tour de force coming at you from the Rhineland: the Alstertor Düsseldorf-Style Mustard!

An adorable mug o' mustard!

     As per tradition here on Hard Yellow, I shall first address the vessel for the mustard; in this case, it is a lovely glassware in the shape of a classic German beer mug, tenderly made in what I can presume is only the most noble of German factories. While you, dear reader, may guffaw at the premise of a handled mustard jar, I rebute thee - having a handle only allows for increased precision when you come down to scraping the last knifeloads of mustardy goodness out of the jar. And after all, it doubles as a glass afterwards!  But let me be clear, although the choice of container is fabulous, this is by no means the best part of the this mustard.

     This mustard, in what I can only assume is what other Düsseldorf-style mustard strive to be, is audaciously smooth, even to the point of being 'creamy'. I was awed by the unique consistency of this fine specimen, which was also surprisingly light. The taste itself was a milder yellow mustard, definitely not as vinegary as a traditional American yellow; the mustard flavor was allowed to shine through, which I always appreciate. The fact that it's on the milder side does mean it's not the best choice on a sandwich, where you need a strong mustard like Colman's English to punch through the bread and meats - this mustard is best for dipping meats like pork or comping with potatoes or pretzels, situations where it does not overpower, but complements the food. In this way, this mustard is very refined, above the usual proletarian yellow mustards; this is a high-class fellow, deserving to be used in your finest meals.

     For my first mustard rating of 2016, I give this fantastic mustard a 9 out of 10, up there with other stellar mustards like the Colman's English and Olivier Cognac mustards. This is a culinary delicacy that one cannot afford to miss. And to you, I bid you a happy February of mustardy splendor!

Trader Joe's Basil Mustard - Specialty Mustard Review

This stuff is pretty good. Then again, it's also one of the first fancy mustards I have reviewed, so my standards are kinda low. This is a review of Trader Joe's Basil Mustard from the Mustard Miscellany they offer. In case you didn't know, basil is a herb that tastes both sweet and savory, yet slightly minty. It also has a powerful smell of pepper and mint.

Trader Joe's Basil Mustard is a combination of spiciness and mustardiness, if that makes any sense. It has a sort of grainy texture, which adds to the depth that this mustard provides. The spicy flavor that this mustard has provides a nice kick. The variety of flavors and textures it possesses allows for a miscellany of uses- from sandwiches to eggs or something maybe? Do people do that? I bet it would be good. But it tastes good on sandwiches. Or off a spoon.

Another thing that this mustard has is a great jar. The ergonomically designed glass jar provides an opening for optimal mustard-spoonage. Plus, the jar holds a sizable amount of mustard, meaning you can lather it on all sorts of things until you run out.

The one on the right because I didn't take a picture.

If you like your mustard to have some heat and herb-y taste, I would definitely recommend this mustard. I'd give this a solid 9 basil leafs out of 10. I haven't broken into the next three quite yet, but stay tuned for them!

Speciality Mustard Review - Olivier Cognac Mustard

Welcome, fellow Mustardeers, to another installment of Hard Yellow mustard reviews from your resident mustard fanatic! To help out for this post, my new editor has carefully reviewed this review to make this post the best it could be. (I pay him in handshakes.)

For our first real review of 2015, I present to you a masterpiece - Olivier's Cognac Mustard. As usual, I have to discuss the jar first before anything else; this is the mustard's only fault. The jar is unfortuantely quite unwirlding, especially the top; it gets stuck very easily, and ios one of those agravating tops that's hard to put back on again easily.

But with that over with, let's move on to the actual mustard!

From the vineyards of Napa Valley!

 
The stuff is magnificent. It smells pleasing, unlike other mustard involving alcoholic ingredients like dijon mustard; and the taste is unbelievable. It's almost creamy in taste, with a pleasant amount of mustard; the cognac definitely pulls it all together. This mustard is wonderful on most anything involving meat; I first had it on ham, which was delicious.

I looked at the ingredients, and they're quite interesting. The mustard is in fact a blend of stone ground mustard, dijon mustard and cognac. This lends for a mustard with both great taste and texture; there are just enough seeds to keep it interesting, but not too many to make it a birdseed-mustard.

Overall, this elegant mustard gets 9 french spirits out of 10; the taste is unbelievable, and it's definitely one of my favorite mustards, but for the reasons of the jar and my refusal of giving anything a perfect score, it stays at a 9.

Mustard Product Review - Strong & Kind Honey Mustard Almond Protein Bar

This stuff is amazing.

Just going to preface this review with that; honestly, start queuing up a shipment of strong bars on Amazon while you read this. It's legitimate mustard mana.

The Strong & Kind bars, which my friends and I fondly refer to as Strong Bars, are almond-based protein bars that are surprisingly good for you, and even more surprisingly amazingly delicious. If this were not a mustard blog, I would be praising the Honey Smoked BBQ and Thai Sweet Chili flavors too; luckily enough, however, the Honey Mustard flavor reigns supreme.

But wait, you may ask - Why in hell's name are you perusing a line of protein bars? Let me explain.

My good friend brought in one of these formidable-looking things to homeroom one morning, and my friends and I incessantly made fun of him for eating such an apparently disgusting thing as a protein bar; I will definitely give you that this thing has an initially off-putting appearance, but you'll get over it, or even grow to enjoy it with a certain love.
Anyhoo, he told us how great it was, and it quickly became the new fad, if you will, in our friend group of thirty-something. Nowadays, it's a cherished good that we celebrate in partaking in every time.

Unfortunately we couldn't complete the flavor quintet of Honey BBQ, Roasted Jalapeno, Hickory Smoked & Thai Sweet Chili without Honey Mustard, which was apparently so popular or amazing that our local supermarket either doesn't carry them or runs out of them immediately. Eventually, we decided to order them online. A week later, we indulged ourselves in some Strong Bar goodness.

And onto the actual review we go!

The Strong Bar, in all it's 45º angle glory!

Let's start with appearance. Like I said before, it's kind of endearingly ugly. It's just a cobbled together bar of a variety of protein-y things, with a strange sheen and a sticky texture. Honestly, on first contact with a Strong Bar, I thought it would taste pretty bad. However, I was wrong; the taste is quite nice. The almonds aren't too hard and dry, the seeds are tasty and crackly, and it's overall pretty good, even if you had it without flavor.

But here on Hard Yellow, all we care about it mustard!

The honey mustard flavor of the Honey Mustard Strong Bar is very strong. It's a firey sort of mustard, kind of like Colman's, just weaker. The honey aspect of the bar is quite refreshing, with a sweetness after the mustardy flavor. The aftertaste is a nice combination of the mustard & honey, which leaves you wanting more. Honestly, this is the tastiest health food you could ever ingest, folks.

So, mustardeers, I rate this bar at a 9.9 Strong Bars out of 10, just because it's not readily available. Go out and get yourself some Strong Bars, so you can become strong too.