Speciality Dijon Mustard Review - Trader Joe's Provençal Mustard (from the Mustard Miscellany)

This time, I bring you, my loyal mustards, a real treat. Straight from the marvelous Trader Joe's Mustard Miscellany (which you can bet I'll be reviewing over the next few weeks!), I bring you a truly interesting mustard; Trader Joe's own Provençal mustard.

Get excited!

After rudimentary research, I have found that a Provençal mustard is considered by most mustard companies to be a Dijon with paprika, as Trader Joe's is; another example would be Edmond Fallot's own Provencal Dijon Mustard, which I plan to try once I can find it in a local shop!

As per usual with Trader Joe's mustards, the jar is nothing special, just a nice & functional glass jar with a screw top. Easy to use, effective for storage, really all-around okay. One thing I have noticed is that Trader Joe's seems to have a sort of continuity with its choice of glassware, as their wonderful stone-ground Dijon also has the same jar. It's food for thought.

On to the actual mustard - I had no idea it would be so paprika-y! When it comes down to it, the mustard is good not for the mustard flavor as much as the great paprika flavor, which is a taste you tend not to get with such a weak flavor. The white wine is also used well, and it is not overpowering to the rest of the flavors, as the acidic base of mustards can be (I'm looking at you, Heinz.) Although the paprika is great, I am a bit disappointed in how the mustard is masked by the strength of the paprika flavor; I would have preferred it if the flavors had balanced to be a Provençal mustard, not a paprika spread with mustard. But I digress - it's still good stuff. It's really nice on it's own, with a nice toasted bread like a baguette, and it also works well on savory foods, as long as you use enough of it.

This mustard excels in its amazing paprika-ful taste and smart use of white wine as the base of the dijon, but the mustard taste is just not strong enough to work with the paprika - if I have to search for the mustard while tasting, that's not going to earn great marks from me. Because of this, I give it a low 8; I may sound like I don't like it, but it's really still very tasty!

Speciality Mustard Review - Olivier Cognac Mustard

Welcome, fellow Mustardeers, to another installment of Hard Yellow mustard reviews from your resident mustard fanatic! To help out for this post, my new editor has carefully reviewed this review to make this post the best it could be. (I pay him in handshakes.)

For our first real review of 2015, I present to you a masterpiece - Olivier's Cognac Mustard. As usual, I have to discuss the jar first before anything else; this is the mustard's only fault. The jar is unfortuantely quite unwirlding, especially the top; it gets stuck very easily, and ios one of those agravating tops that's hard to put back on again easily.

But with that over with, let's move on to the actual mustard!

From the vineyards of Napa Valley!

 
The stuff is magnificent. It smells pleasing, unlike other mustard involving alcoholic ingredients like dijon mustard; and the taste is unbelievable. It's almost creamy in taste, with a pleasant amount of mustard; the cognac definitely pulls it all together. This mustard is wonderful on most anything involving meat; I first had it on ham, which was delicious.

I looked at the ingredients, and they're quite interesting. The mustard is in fact a blend of stone ground mustard, dijon mustard and cognac. This lends for a mustard with both great taste and texture; there are just enough seeds to keep it interesting, but not too many to make it a birdseed-mustard.

Overall, this elegant mustard gets 9 french spirits out of 10; the taste is unbelievable, and it's definitely one of my favorite mustards, but for the reasons of the jar and my refusal of giving anything a perfect score, it stays at a 9.

Specialty Mustard Review: Inglehoffer Cranberry

It's been a while, but here we are! Hard Yellow Forever!

I've been pretty busy with things lately, closing up my mustard-blogging time to a minimum; but I'm back now, and hopefully with weekly - perhaps even bi-weekly - reviews!

Just gotta brush off the cobwebs here.... How did I start these again? Jeez, it's been a while... Ah yes, here we go. Back on track. Let's get right into it!

During your travels in the condiment jungle (oh, it feels so good to say that again!), a skilled mustardeer must always be on the lookout for the, let's say, 'odd' varieties of the one true condiment. Once and a while, you'll be waltzing down the aisle, when suddenly, a rogue cotton-candy flavored mustard will appear in the rough between the Heinz 57 and the Utz.

Now, this is where you must take precautions - first, view the mustard. Is it really worth your time?
Trick question - it's mustard. Of course it is. Moving on...

Next, consider it's functionality. Is it something you would actually use? This is where the aforementioned cotton-candy flavored mustard - other than being a complete adulteration of the mustard family - would fail. But perhaps one has a sweet tooth? I'm not judging.

And finally, price. Seemingly unique mustards can often max out on price, when they honestly aren't that amazing. To be safe, see reviews - like Hard Yellow's! - before purchasing.

Yes, yes, I know there's an Amazon '12-Pack' thing. It's the only good image I could find.

But I'm getting off track. I received this mustard as a gift, so I did not have any choice in the first place as to whether it would grace my cabinet; I had to try it, no matter what. This mustard I speak of is Inglehoffer's Cranberry Mustard, which is reportedly 'great with turkey'. The mustard looks intriguing enough - it's a rambunctious deep purple; the jar is the classically inviting Inglehoffer's type; and who can refuse the proud little bearded German on the side?

However, it's just all downhill from there...

Opening the jar, you're instantly assailed by an overpowering smell of vinegar. Now, I'm a fan of vinegary mustards, mind you. However, when a jar of what I wanted to think fine mustard smells like a vat of cheap white vinegar, it's an instant turn-off for me. Maybe you're into swigging vinegar, but I'm not one of those types. So with this unfortunate smell in my nose, I went to spread the stuff on some chicken - it's close enough to turkey. Unfortunately, the stuff was off this weird, gelatinous consistency - some mustard seeds here, some chopped cranberry there - it wasn't mustard, it was a bloody spread! Eventually, I pulled through, and I took a bite.

Jesus christ, it was weird.

First off - just way, way too vinegary. I don't know what was going on in that jar - the cranberries were fermenting, for all I know. The vinegar-esqe taste just overpowered the entire ensemble with a strange, sour-bitter taste. The cranberry was weak, and what there was of it was just sour. Now, I live in prime cranberry country, and this is the cranberry time of year, so I goddamn know what a cranberry is supposed to taste like. This was not that. And then, the actual mustard aspect of it - effectively non-present. The spread would have been better if it were called 'Vinegar-cranberry flavored rat poison', because it would have at least let me know how it actually tasted.

Overall, the mustard was really just unfortunate; I really wanted to like it, because it was so unique and different, but after the second taste I just threw the stuff away. I give this mustard 1 cranberry out of 5, only because it tried.

Again, new posts coming soon, so get pumped!